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thepratingknave

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08:58 pm: Guess the fandom...





I saw you today. Down on the street. You didn't see me, and if you did you gave no indication. I saw you pause in front of a shop, peering in, pressing your nose to the glass, cupping your hands around your face to keep out the sun. Just rows of shoes. What were you looking for? Why weren't you at the old candy shop, or the cigarette depot, or the tailor's on the corner? Of course, I followed you. Every move. Watching. Waiting for the sign. The call to mayhem. Shaking the hair from your eyes, I catch the death shining, and I move. You're in my vision. I wander from you for a moment and wonder if you're really there at all. Being in your presence is like raising the dead. The ghost inside just pushes you through the substance of the living, just lingering long enough to ground you. I don't know, I guess I was feeling metaphysical. Probably exhausted. Right on the edge of it. There's never time for sleep. Or dreams, thank god. Something I don't need. So what do you need? You round a corner, and I'm there, I'm ahead of you. High above you. You're small from up here, and I can see the wind rushing through you, cool and heavy, crashing you. I thought too much that day. Too much like something good. My unconscious was running like anything. But I never lost you. Not once. My sight was always clear. You were always wrong. That was right. Crossing the street without looking, grinning like a wild thing, you're close. You know. But what? I knew I couldn't lose you. I had to keep up. I had to find your joy. Where are you going? To kill, to steal, to laugh high like you're in love, something? Or did I miss you? Am I dragging behind? Show me your eyes. Look at me and I'll find you. You're in the park, in the grass, something green. Meeting someone. Vandalism. Potential victims. Terror. I waited for you. You found what you were looking for. Sat in the park, laid down, spread your arms wide. The green and the gold glowing on your skin, eyes closed and you smiling like this was it. Everything. Your happiness. One day. And I lost you.











Current Mood: I WROTE FANFICTION
Current Music: SILENCE

Comments

[User Picture]
From:siko_k
Date:May 23rd, 2008 05:39 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Alright, you know how bad I am with reviewing BUT I do know what the fandom is and I do know that I dug it, so let me point out the particular points where you made my brain go "ooh...":

Shaking the hair from your eyes, I catch the death shining, and I move. You're in my vision. I wander from you for a moment and wonder if you're really there at all. Being in your presence is like raising the dead. The ghost inside just pushes you through the substance of the living, just lingering long enough to ground you. I don't know, I guess I was feeling metaphysical. Probably exhausted. Right on the edge of it. There's never time for sleep. Or dreams, thank god. Something I don't need. So what do you need?

(that's a big except but I love it, I love the combinations of words and sounds and the sentences they create. And you know, I just I love it in general. The metaphysical line raised a smile regardless of whether it was meant to or not, I'm never good at judging.)

Where are you going? To kill, to steal, to laugh high like you're in love, something?

^ That is fucking great.

Show me your eyes. Look at me and I'll find you.

^ So are those. And so are the last few sentences but I don't wanna go on quoting like mad. Anyway, lovely work and despite the fact that it's not my fandom (and you know how I am about this) I thought it was a great fic. Anything you produce tends to be a great read though I don't see any very often ): KEEP DOING IT

DOING THE THING
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