?

Log in

No account? Create an account

thepratingknave

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
03:37 pm: BREAKING NEWS THIS BLOWS



FTW MEANS WHAT I MOTHERFUCKING KNOW IT MEANS AND YOU WILL NOT QUESTION IT BECAUSE YOU WERE JUST AS WRONG AS I WAS. AND NOW JUST AS RIGHT. THIS IS REALLY FUCKING LONG. THAT'S WHAT HE SAID. HIT IT





FIRST NEWS-RELATED MARCO EVAR
UNFORTUNATELY
WHY DO WE ALWAYS TORTURE RAPE AND MURDER THE ONES WE LOVE
P.S.
NOTHING TO DO WITH KING JOHN THE DARK CONJURER AND HIS MAP OF MAGIC
MAKE THIS CLEAR TO YOU
IT'S IMPERATIVE
FUCK THIS GOOK AND HIS SLANTY-EYES
HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING THOUGH
HE'S DONE THIS BEFORE
AND HE ACTUALLY GETS IT TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG JOHN
I'M ONLY DANCING
GET OFF MY FUCKING BACK ABOUT IT




YES IT IS WHY DON'T YOU SHOW ME ON SECOND THOUGHT PLEASE DON'T
I'M REMINDED OF ANDY WARHOLE
OH THAT'S FANTASTIC
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE A SNAKE
GASP WOW
ORGASM
I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOUR AUTISM
I LIKE IT
ASSHOLE




HAHA SEE IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE DAME DANA LOOKS LIKE A HORSE
AND KING JOHN GOT FISTED BY A HORSE
SHOULD'VE GIVEN IT SOME SUGARCUBES
LSD SALTLICK
ACID CARROTS
I AM HONGRY
IT'S A MYSTIC TRIP
ROBYN IS BANNED FROM THAT TRIP
BUT I DO HAVE SOME EGYPTIAN CREAM FOR HIM IF HE'LL JUST COME OVER HERE RIGHT NOW




I THINK THAT CAPTION SUMS IT UP I REALLY DO
HE'S LAUGHING
THERE'S FOOD BEFORE HIM THAT I PRESUME HE INTENDS TO EAT
AND THE HEXAGONAL PATTERNS ON THE WALL ARE REMINISCENT OF THE INDIVIDUAL CHAMBERS FOUND WITHIN A BEE'S HIVE
THERE'S LITERALLY NOTHING MORE TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE
I HONESTLY BELIEVE THAT IT'S PERFECT
DON'T EVER CHANGE MY KING
PLZ DON'T CHANGE




PLEASE DO PUT IT INSIDE OF HIM
I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE PUT IT INSIDE OF HIM
PUSH IT INSIDE OF HIM
HE HASN'T ESTABLISHED HIMSELF AS A CREDIBLE OR RESPECTABLE JOURNALIST YET
NO ONE WILL MISS HIM
THEY WILL NOT NOTICE IF HE DOESN'T ANSWER THAT CIRCA 1988 PHONE OR WHATEVER
I MEAN IT YOU CAN DO THIS YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION
HE WEIGHS LIKE NINETY POUNDS TOPS
JUST PIN HIS FRAIL LITTLE BIRD WRISTS BEHIND HIS BACK AND GET IN THERE
YOU CAN COME ALL OVER HIS FACE AND IT WON'T MAKE A COTTON-PICKING DIFFERENCE
FUCK HIM TILL HE DIES
JESUS
OH WELL HIM TOO 




KING JOHN YOUR LIFE BLOWS
I'M SICK OF YOUR CIRCUITS MALFUNCTIONING ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME
WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO
WATCH A HUMAN BEING GIVE ME THE NEWS
R U KIDDING
WHERE IS THE ROBOT
WHERE IS THE ANDROID
WHERE IS MY KING AND HIS ELECTRONIC INFERNO WASTELAND
PLAY SOME HIP-HOP TO CONSOLE ME
IF YOU CAN GET YOUR DAMN MASSIVE DINOSAUR COMPUTER IN THE ANIMAL TESTING FACILITY LABORATORY TO FUCKING WORK
YOU'RE STILL USING THE BETA VERSION AREN'T YOU
DON'T YOU KNOW THAT BITCH WILL CRASH YOU EVERY TIME
GODDAMMIT




AND DIDN'T THAT RING TRUE
IT'S AMAZING HOW THESE EVENTS ARE REVEALED SO LONG BEFORE THEY COME TO PASS
IT'S KNOWN AS THE VANDERBILT CURSE OF THREE
YOU SEE IT'S THREE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN OVER THE COURSE OF AN ENTIRE LIFETIME
NO MORE THAN THAT
THAT GOES WITHOUT SAYING
FIRST ANDERSON'S DAD DIED DURING OPEN-HEART SURGERY
THEN HIS OLDER BROTHER COMMITTED SUICIDE BY JUMPING OUT OF THE WINDOW OF THEIR APARTMENT
AND THE FINAL CHAPTER OF THE CURSE CAME WHEN ONE DARK AND STORMY NIGHT
HE WENT GREY PREMATURELY
COULD THERE BE ANYTHING WORSE
OH THE HUMANITY
OH THE FOXITY




THIS ONE REALLY NEEDS NO EXPLANATION
IT PROBABLY DOES BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET ONE
WELL MAYBE
I'LL TELL YOU BUT YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE
I'M SRS
RLY
NOBODY
K THE TRUTH IS BILLY LIKES TO FUCK WOLVES
I SWEAR IT'S TRUE LOOK IT UP
YOU WON'T FIND ANYTHING BUT IT'S OUT THERE
SOMEDAY




THE CAPTION WAS ORIGINALLY GOING TO READ
TEXT: bring the cucumber k
BUT THEN I REALIZED
NOT GOOD ENOUGH
HE'S GOT TO BE ONE OF THOSE FILTHY DIRTY HOMOSEXUALS THAT EXPERIMENTS WITH WEIRD AND OR DANGEROUS OBJECTS  TO GET HIS KICKS AND ENDS UP IN AN EMERGENCY ROOM WITH A VHS COPY OF THE WIZARD OF GORE IN HIS ASS
DON'T THROW THAT AWAY IT STILL WORKS
BETTER THAN BEFORE




THAT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS
CNN IS PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART AND I DON'T FUCKING APPRECIATE IT
THEY WANT THAT ASS ALL TO THEMSELVES
WHICH OF COURSE INCLUDES THE BEST FUCKING NEWS TEAM ON TELEVISION
AND THE OTHER GUYS
IF THEY WANT TO MAKE MARCOS THEY CAN GO ON AHEAD AND MAKE MARCOS WTF DO I CARE
I DO CARE
BUT I WANTED TO VIOLATE HIM FIRST
THAT'S ALL I WANTED CNN
WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK
YES




LUCKILY I DO KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN AND GUESS WHAT
TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT CHARLIE
THE NIGHT THAT YOU MOLEST A FIVE-YEAR OLD BOY
A FIVE-YEAR OLD FOX CUB
THE LITTLE TRAMP IS SILENT NO MORE
FUCK THAT CHILD
NOW'S YOUR CHANCE YOU'LL BE DEAD IN FIVE YEARS
SHOVE THAT FUNNY BAMBOO CANE RIGHT UP HIS TIGHT LITTLE VIRGIN ASS
ALL FOR THE LOVE OF VANILLA ICE CREAM




SPEAKING OF ICE CREAM
YES HE DID AND THAT'S WHY YOU LOVE IT YOU SLAG
EAT IT
GOBBLE THAT SHIT UP LIKE THE FUCKING SLUTBAG SILVER FOX WHORE THAT YOU ARE
YOU LOVE IT MMM
TALKING DIRTY TO THIS MARCO IS TURNING ME ON
I DO HAVE A HARDON
I'M NOT SRY
THE ONLY REGRETS I HAVE IN MY LIFE ARE THE THINGS I DIDN'T DO




AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE AS THEY SAY
THE PEOPLE THAT ARE OLD AND DYING
DAVID CARUSO'S HELLHAIR IS SLIGHTLY OBSCURED BY THE SAME POWDERED SEMEN THAT SEEMS TO COVER HIS ENTIRE BODY
BUT I KNOW
I CAN TELL
LET'S JUST SAY THE CARPET MATCHES THE DRAPES
EW
MMM
ACTUALLY NO




THIS IS THAT ONE I RAVED SO MUCH ABOUT
WAS IT WORTH IT
NOT HALF AS FUNNY AS I REMEMBER
BUT I WAS SO MUCH OLDER THAN
I'M YOUNGER THAN BACK FUCK YOU NOW
OBLA-DI OBLA-DONE
ALL OVER YOUR WIG
STUPID WHITE WIG
STOP LYING TO ME I KNOW YOU'RE BALD
YOU'RE PERFECTLY OKAY WITH SHOWING THE ENTIRE WORLD YOUR MUTILATED FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER BODY AFTER YOU WERE SHOT BUT YOU'RE TOO EMBARRASSED TO SHOW THEM THE SHINE OF YOUR SCALP
FUCK YOU
I'M GLAD YOU'RE DEAD
GUESS WHAT
YOUR SKULL IS BALD
OMG




I FEEL I SHOULD PROBABLY END THIS SHITFEST WITH THIS ONE
IS THIS CRUEL OR SEXY
AREN'T THEY THE SAME THING
I CONCUR
IS IT WRONG OF ME TO WANT TO GET THIS PUSSY ON MY LAP
AND TAP THAT CAT-ASS LIKE WHAT
I HOPE SO



WELL THAT'S ALL FOR NOW
I'M NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN
I'VE BEEN AWAKE FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW SO
IT JUST FEELS GOOD









GET OUT OF HERE I'M DONE









THERE'S NO MORE









SRSLY




Current Mood: SMELLING GOOD
Current Music: Beck - Loser
Tags: , ,

Comments

[User Picture]
From:siko_k
Date:March 14th, 2009 08:18 pm (UTC)

tl;dr

(Link)
This entry definitely compliments the trip-hop I'm listening to.



























)':






WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG HERE
[User Picture]
From:thepratingknave
Date:March 15th, 2009 02:19 am (UTC)

Re: tl;dr

(Link)

I WOULDN'T KNOW NOW WOULD I
I SHOULDN'T CARE NOW SHOULD I
WISH I COULD DIE NOW DON'T I

FERRY-FAGGOT IS FEELING KINDA LOW BECAUSE OF YOUR TRIP-HOP COMMENT AND THE EMOTICON AND THE USE OF THAT FOUL WORD



DEAL WITH IT ROXY JEWSIC



YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE JEWISH TO BE JEWISH



BUT I'M PREACHING TO THE CHOIR HERE I THINK

[User Picture]
From:siko_k
Date:March 15th, 2009 02:37 am (UTC)

Re: tl;dr

(Link)
GO TO BED, ASSHOLE
[User Picture]
From:thepratingknave
Date:March 15th, 2009 02:48 am (UTC)

Re: tl;dr

(Link)

WOW THAT WAS LIGHTNING FAST
THAT WAS AS FAST AS GREASE LIGHTNING
DID YOU SEE ROBYN?

[User Picture]
From:siko_k
Date:March 15th, 2009 02:50 am (UTC)

Re: tl;dr

(Link)
I DID SEE PINEAPPLE EXPRESS. IT WAS AWESOME.
[User Picture]
From:siko_k
Date:March 18th, 2009 11:05 am (UTC)

btw

(Link)
During the summer of 1983, in a quiet town near Minneapolis, Minnesota, the charred body of a woman was found inside the kitchen stove of a small farmhouse. A video camera was also found in the kitchen, standing on a tripod and pointing at the oven. No tape was found inside the camera at the time.

Although the scene was originally labeled as a homicide by police, an unmarked VHS tape was later discovered at the bottom of the farm’s well (which had apparently dried up earlier that year).

Despite its worn condition, and the fact that it contained no audio, police were still able to view the contents of the tape. It depicted a woman recording herself in front of a video camera (seemingly using the same camera the police found in the kitchen). After positioning the camera to include both her and her kitchen stove in the image, the tape then showed her turning on the oven, opening the door, crawling inside, and then closing the door behind her. Eight minutes into the video, the oven could be seen shaking violently, after which point thick black smoke could be seen emanating from it. The camera then continued to stationary point at the oven for another 45 minutes until the batteries apparently died.

To avoid disturbing the local community, police never released any information about the tape, or even the fact that it was found. Police were also not able to determine who put the tape in the well.

…or why the physical stature of the woman on the tape did not in any way resemble the stature of the woman found in the oven.



D:
[User Picture]
From:siko_k
Date:March 18th, 2009 11:16 am (UTC)
(Link)
For a brief period in 1971, a New Jersey based company sold novelty “X-ray” glasses through the mail via advertisements in the Marvel line of comic books. People who viewed their televisions while wearing these glasses reported seeing images that were “hellish” or “like hell”. It should be noted that this phenomena occurred whether the televisions in question were turned on or not. The company quickly went out of business and investigations reveal that the company’s address leads to a graveyard founded over 150 years earlier.
[User Picture]
From:siko_k
Date:March 18th, 2009 11:18 am (UTC)

Also this is one of the scariest things I've ever read

(Link)
I might try it, idk:


Somewhere in West Philadelphia, you will find an old basketball court with a single ball lying in the middle. Pick it up and start shooting hoops. After a while, a small group of hooligans will approach you and challenge you to a fight, which you must accept.

After the fight, you must go home and relay the events to your mother. She will then inform you that you have an aunt and uncle living in one of the districts of Los Angeles, and out of fear, she will send you to live there for an indefinite period of time.

With your bags packed, go to the street corner, and whistle for a cab. The cab that will pull up will bear the word FRESH on the license plate, and upon closer inspection, novelty fuzzy dice will hang in the mirror. Although you will suddenly realize that cabs like these are extremely hard to find, do not bear any thought to it. At this point you MUST point out in front of the car and say ‘Yo homes to Bel Air’. You will stop in front of a mansion, and it will be sometime between 7 and 8 o’clock, even though it will feel like you’ve been traveling mere seconds. Get your luggage out and say ‘Yo homes, smell ya later!’, but do NOT turn back to face the cabby. Walk up to the door, look over your shoulder once, and then knock on the door three times.

If you follow these instructions, your life will get flip-turned upside-down.
[User Picture]
From:thepratingknave
Date:March 18th, 2009 06:21 pm (UTC)

DON'T DO IT

(Link)

THAT LAST ONE MADE ME FUCKING SCREAM

OMG

I like your emoticon look of horror after the first one, though...typical of PUSSIES.

I think you put that second one there for MY BENEFIT, DIDN'T YOU. TO HUMOUR ME.

DON'T YOU PATRONIZE ME YOU BASTARD

Anyway, the first one was good. It's those endings, isn't it? Those damn punchlines!

Ba dom bom A-CHA-CHA-CHA-CHA

NO.

NO DURANTE.

IT ISN'T KOSHER.

WAIT IT PROBABLY IS.

ALTHOUGH I WOULDN'T KNOW.

I'M BUILDING HALF OF A PYRAMID.

WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING WORDS.

WTF, I'm bored, goddammit.

I've been viewing and downloading videos on Youtube like, all daynightafternoon, so...yeah.

Nine for my mummy, two for my Billy, and three for my musics. The fuck.

There's this episode of Politically Incorrect with Half-Jew Animal Show that has a summery beach theme...so Billy and his guests are in beach wear. Oh, mother...That sass-mouth is so motherfucking fit, OMMFG. NO, REALLY. He was doing his monologue, you know, business as usual, and all I could do was stare at his pecs as they twitched. TWITCHED.

AAAAAAAAAOHMYGOD

IF I WASN'T COMPLETELY SURE ABOUT WANTING TO BEND HIM OVER BEFORE, REST ASSURED.

I AM NOW.

YOU LITTLE MINX

AOW

FUCK ALL THAT BULLSHIT

Yeah, so.

I really want to give it to him. But since I can't, I want someone to give it to him for me. Someone WORTHY. AND UNFORTUNATELY I CAN THINK OF NO ONE. THIS WAS MY PREDICAMENT MONTHS AGO. EXCEPT NOW MY HARDON RAGES.

Mmm, mama...

GET OVER HERE YOU HIDEOUS SEXY MOTHERFUCKER I WANT TO EAT YOU

I REALLY WANT TO EAT YOU

WE'RE GOING TO THE MOUNTAINS

WE WILL BECOME STRANDED

IT IS WRITTEN

AND MUCH LIKE LAWRENCE'S ARAB BEDOUIN FRIEND

I WILL BE BARBAROUS AND CRUEL

AND FUN

I AM CONFIDENT THAT YOU WILL TASTE OF VEGETATION AND HATE YOU FILTHY DIRTY VEGAN HOMOSEXUAL

I WILL GRIND YOUR BONES TO MAKE MY BONE POWDER

BUT I WILL SAVE YOUR SKULL

AND DONATE IT TO SCIENCE

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE

THUS PROVING THE THEORY OF INTELLIGENT DESIGN

NO MEANS YES

THE MUMMY KNEW THAT

BUT DID NOT HEED MY WARNING

NO MEANS YES

LISTEN TO ME

NO MEANS YES









I'M FUCKING LYING



YOU HAVE BEEN DEVOURED



K

[User Picture]
From:thepratingknave
Date:March 18th, 2009 06:25 pm (UTC)

Re: DON'T DO IT

(Link)

HOW'S THAT FOR A MOTHERFUCKING PUNCHLINE

SUCK IT

[User Picture]
From:siko_k
Date:March 18th, 2009 06:36 pm (UTC)

Re: DON'T DO IT

(Link)
FUCK YOU
[User Picture]
From:siko_k
Date:March 18th, 2009 06:35 pm (UTC)

Re: DON'T DO IT

(Link)
I've been reading about snuff films, the Guinea Pig series, Japanese child murderers, and televised suicides and shit all afternoon - YEAH, HAPPY STUFF AMIRITE? I started to feel really sick and weird after awhile and like, I literally just had to stop and sit back for a few minutes and collect myself. Since Monday I've been reading Creepypastas, HP Lovecraft, and the Saya in Underworld blog like whoa.

Shoveling this much negative shit into your brain at such an incredible rate can't possibly be good for your psyche, can it? Oh, and "Then She Did..." just came up on my playlist. WHAT THE FUCK, NO MORE DEPRESSING SHIT, K, WORLD? DAYMN I NEED TO WATCH SOME EDDIE RIGHT ABOUT NOW TO LIFT MY SPIRITS. AND MY DICK.

Awwww, Eddie... *molests*

HOMG INSPIRATION FOR MY VARIOUS HORROR THINGS, YES

STFU ABOUT DEM JEWS

lol wtf: http://community.livejournal.com/pinkfloydslash/82890.html
[User Picture]
From:thepratingknave
Date:March 18th, 2009 06:57 pm (UTC)

Re: DON'T DO IT

(Link)

"Well, the mentioned Youtube blogger at first mistook DG for female--
at the "Live in Pompeii" DVD--the combined physical appearance is androgynous.

However, that doesn't cover what is in one's mind and in one's heart and perhaps we'll never know for sure unless that it disclosed in an interview someday."



WTF

THAT'S FUCKING WILD

WILD AND STUPID

GTFO

[User Picture]
From:thepratingknave
Date:March 18th, 2009 07:43 pm (UTC)

Re: DON'T DO IT

(Link)

Also, upon googling Robyn:

Robyn Hitchcock
Buy her "Spooked" cd Now at 18% off. associate
www.amazon.com

FIRST SEARCH RESULT

TOP ON THE LIST

NEED TO KNOW

ROBYN IS A TRANNYFAG

[User Picture]
From:siko_k
Date:March 18th, 2009 08:07 pm (UTC)

Re: DON'T DO IT

(Link)
NICE ONE

Also, awesome: http://www.dionaea-house.com/

I read it in 2005 and it's still great.
Powered by LiveJournal.com